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White House considers hiring Stephen King to name the next 20 COVID-19 variants

With a population that still hasn't locked themselves in a basement, Biden's administration grows desperate.

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As we enter 2022, Biden is already rubbing his head with the realization that he has to amp up the pressure with every new COVID-19 variant. In fact, according to inside sources, his Administration has been petitioning Hollywood to offer up heavyweight screenwriters to help put the scare in the American people.

Omnicron has been one of the more lackluster entries to the franchise.

Omnicron has proven to be the worst rated COVID-19 variant in terms of how scary it is. With not near enough deaths to even register concern with the voters who wear three masks while traveling via plastic bubble, Dr. Fauci and the CDC are reportedly convinced it has to do with the name.

Thus far, each of the 33 variants have followed the naming convention of the Greek alphabet.

However, the reality of it has been that the Greek alphabet just doesn’t really sound too scary.

Despite Biden doing his best to scare anyone who defies the manufactured societal pressure for vaccination, most of the citizens that would be “facing a winter of severe illness and death” have still not gotten their vaccination.

Because of this, Pelosi and the 47 other members of congress who are invested in Pfizer, are likely putting a hold on certain purchases like private jets and cauldrons of human child blood, in order to brace for the potential hit to their pockets.

“But it’s here now and it’s spreading and it’s gonna increase. … We are looking at a winter of severe illness and death for the unvaccinated — for themselves, their families and the hospitals they’ll soon overwhelm. But there’s good news: If you’re vaccinated and you have your booster shot, you’re protected from severe illness and death.”

President Joe Biden’s remarks after COVID-19 briefing

Some members of Biden’s cabinet have blamed personalities like Colbert whose tendency to dress up and sing like a corporate showgirl has shown to hurt, not help the case for vaccinations.

Because of this, according to our sources, Stephen King fielded a phone call from Joe Biden or one of Biden’s nurses in order to discuss an arrangement in which Stephen King would name a number of the next COVID-19 variants with special attention to making the names better for branding and fear-spreading.

Despite every attempt by the media to scare the American population into going to the hospital for any cold symptom out of fear that COVID-19 is essentially a death sentence, the hospitals have not yet been overwhelmed enough for the Administration to deploy the National Guard and death squads.

Fortunately, this may change if King takes on the contract and turns COVID-19 into another successful franchise.

Further speculation indicates that King may look to Greek God names for a new naming convention or demons from mythology.

Moros. In Greek mythology, Moros was the spirit or god of doom.

Additionally, the Screen Actor’s Guild has reportedly offered to broadcast free trainings to the American public for how to find their “inner fear” in an attempt to really create the air of horror that is necessary for political motivations.

More on this as it develops.

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