POV: You’re Putin. Across from you is a gorgeous, 5’4 bombshell blonde with huge knockers and a salami dangling off the chair. You find out THIS is the pilot who effortlessly obliterated over 20 of your planes while circumventing homophobia and heretonormative expectations. What do you do?
This will become relevant soon as we’re finding out from the Ukraine government that the very real and very cool Ghost of Kyiv ace heralded for such a high kill count amid a seemingly illogical existence is actually a pansexual transgender womxn.
Earlier this week, our sources indicate that somebody familiar with Zelinsky’s thinking had heard rumors from their own sources that the Ghost of Kyiv was real AND was a pansexual transgender pilot who wore an eye patch and got into bar fights.
Conservatives everywhere are kicking themselves in the butt knowing that they are not as straight as they once claimed. Their crush, a war hero and ace pilot, is actually the one thing they seek to erase from existence – a hottie that exists outside gender norms.
We can only speculate how many times a Reddit user will draw a naked depiction of her/him/it.