Here’s why the US government should pay people to identify unvaccinated friends and family

It's time to stop playing nice.

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We are closing in on one year since Covid-19 vaccines have been made available and still many Americans are refusing to get with the program.

As we repeatedly get small tastes of normalcy before getting shut down once again, we have to be honest with ourselves and call out the problem.

Trump supporters.

That’s right, the majority of those who are unvaccinated are most likely supporters of former President Donald Trump.

As President Biden continues to call on Americans to do their part and get vaccinated, the rest of us grow more agitated by the day. Biden has even expressed how annoyed he is by everyone who is unvaccinated and yet they seem to not care about our dear President’s feelings.

So we propose that the United States government compose a registry of all folks who have not been vaccinated. This could easily be done by having each vaccinated citizen sign a release form for their physician to share their vaccination status with the government who would then remove that person from a list compiled of the last census.

Then, we would have a more accurate picture of who is not vaccinated based on who is left on the list.

Still, there could be any number of reasons a person may accidentally still be on the list despite being a good citizen and getting vaccinated so here’s where you come in.

According to highly placed sources familiar with the president, Biden’s administration is setting aside $80 billion – enough to pay for half the population to be identified as worst case scenario – with which they can pay a person $500 for revealing the identity of someone close to them who has yet to be vaccinated.

Each “monitor” can get a secure non-identifiable phone to privately communicate with government agencies. They will also be provided a discrete voice recorder which can be used to record admissions and evidence of unvaccinated status.

After submitting this information and confirming a person is unvaccinated, the “monitor” will receive a single punch in their “monitor” card. This means they have identified one of the inferior unvaccinated people.

Each time they identify someone who has not yet been identified, they get another punch in this card plus $500.

If they get 10 punches, they get a bonus $1000, credits towards future convictions and free college via the GI Bill.

And remember, you’re not really reporting your friends and family.

They are unvaccinated and dangerous.

Let’s call them what they are.

You are reporting domestic terrorists.

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