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Monday, December 11, 2023
Oebelin Lisk
Oebelin Liskhttps://cinchnews.com/discord/
Oebelin is a proud millennial journalist and ally of marginalized communities working to enlighten and uplift a heavily divided America. He lives in the suburbs of New York City and is commonly found walking his three purebred poodles or tending to his award-winning zen garden. He has degrees in both sociology and communications from Cornell University.

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Could abortions save the planet? The answer may surprise you

Just in case you needed more reasons to hate Republicans today, here are some groundbreaking new ways overturning Roe v. Wade damages America’s core.

Something a lot of people don’t consider is that having birth actually produces a new human. A completely original, new person fully capable of polluting the environment, being racist, not getting vaccinated, et cetera. And, considering nearly half of the country voted for Trump, there’s a solid chance that person is going to grow up as a Trump supporter and oppress you.

Banning abortions means more people are going to have a chance at life, and more importantly, a chance to become a bad person. Just to think, if abortions were legal in the olden days, Hitler may have never been born. The Virgin Mary could have put an end to her unexpected pregnancy. The guy who designed the ridiculously small parking spaces at Walmart may have never existed. Just think of the possibilities.

I mean seriously, who let it get this bad?

And just imagine how green the Earth would be if we just stopped having children. No more people to spew carbon emissions in the air with their cars, throw away perfectly good food, or forget about the totally important job of having a recycling bin in your house.

You can say “oh, think of the children!” all you want. I’m thinking about what really matters: the animals. The plants. Trump. Walmart parking spaces.


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